U Got the Look. It’s crazy around the eye.

20 11 2008

Dear Prince,

Wellwellwell Mr. Pretty Man I must say that I expected more from you.

I stood by you after Vanity, Apollonia 6 and Carmen Electra.
I didn’t say anything when it was revealed to us that you met Mayte when she was 17 (or perhaps just a day over 18) and then married and divorced her before she even turned the ripe old age of 27.

prince-slave1I didn’t say boo when you were walking around with “Slave” scrawled on your Raspberry Bereted face.
I mean, Slave.?!?. You’re the one who willing signed a legally binding contract which made you a very wealthy man and a very well-known and respected artist. You could have freed yourself from the (cough) chains of that contract at any time if you agreed to suffer the financial consequences (that’s how contracts work).
Maybe I’m just too demanding but really I’m never satisfied by people complaining about how they don’t like their fancy rich-man making contracts but still don’t want to take the steps to end them because it’s inconvenient for them and their art.

When you went on to Oprah and told us all that you believed that you had a different person inside of you, one whose gender you suspected of being female, I thought, “Sweet! Two of them!”

When you told the whole world your name was O(+> I stopped calling you Prince and started referring to you as “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.”

rave-un2 I actually bought Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic and (ignored the crazy blue hair ribbons and) defended it to my friends when they thought that perhaps you’d fallen off (and let’s be honest with each other Sexy Motherfucker, that was weak sauce dude.).

So let’s just say, I refrained from making comments about your life because I thought that a wackadoo like yourself (What? Game recognizes game. It takes one to know one.) would refrain from making comments about mine.

And then you decided to have soup with the New Yorker and put yourself in a situation to sound like you get your religion from Cliffs Notes and your social views and ability for discourse from Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

Let’s consult Scripture together, “…it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.
So I guess I’ll be hanging out at the Paisley Park in Hell.
I think your assless pants will be the right attire for the balmy weather.






3 responses

20 11 2008
U Got the Look. It’s crazy around the eye.

[…] Read more from the original source: U Got the Look. It’s crazy around the eye. […]

20 11 2008
Redheaded Stepchild

oh, prince. it’s just so sad that he had to find god and get all self-righteous. why can’t finding god be a joyous and opening experience? why do i always hear about people finding god and shutting down their empathy?

poor prince. he just doesn’t know how to reconcile his funkitude with the divine.

20 11 2008
Baby Power Dyke

@ Redheaded Stepchild

I respect Prince’s desire to have a connection with a Higher Power. And even though I don’t agreed with most of what the Jay Dubs have to say, I respect his right to choose the Jay Dubs as the link to his Higher Power.

What I don’t respect is the way he seems to be using this connection of obfuscate his past. It feels like he made this choice so as to run away from his past. That really rubs me the wrong way.

I don’t respect how moronic and self-satisfied he sounds.

I don’t respect the fact that he seems to show such disregard for the people that helped him attain his current level of fame.
[Because let’s be honest, there’s no way that without the support (and buying power) of the gay community a 5 foot 2, purple loving and wearing, Paisley Park having black dude wearing more makeup and hair product that Little Richard ever dreamed of and named Prince would be living half as regally as he’s living.]

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