#1 (and 2 and 3 and 4) Crush.

29 07 2009

I am a woman who enjoys sleeping with women.  So when I have a crush on someone it’s pretty much always a lady.   So, of course, when I was scanning my Daily Beast daily beastdown this morning I was titillated to come across an post about Fantasy Girl Crushes.

I thought, “Sweet!  Another article featuring pictures of Tina Fey and/or Rachel Maddow!  Holy Sweet Jesus, thank you for loving me!”

I clicked on the link and much to my dismay there were very few pictures and very many words.

How you mislead, Doree Shafrir.  You tease!
Instead of pictures of my beloveds there was a very clever article about what ladycrushes are and how they are useful as motivators and inspirational tools.

What I got from the article was another girlfriend (You brought this on yourself, Doree.).  It also got me thinking about my own ladycrushes.

There is, as you know, Rachel Maddow Ph.D., my love for whom is well documented.  But a picture is worth a thousand words so here are five thousand-two words.

Dreamy city.

Dr. Maddow led me to Ana Marie Cox which…  you know, sounds kind of like facebookbefriending all of your friend’s Facebook friends even if you don’t know them simply because you think that your friend is totally awesome.  Except Rachel Maddow, though my love, is not (yet! I’ve got hope) my friend.  And Ana Marie Cox is totally awesome independent of Dr. Maddow and is a redhead which, let’s just say, is a HUGE point in her favor.

I’ve spoken frequently of my love of all things Tina Fey (especially Tina Fey breaks!).

And recently, I’ve become fully girlcrushed out on Professor Melissa Harris-Lacewell, Ph.D. Ya’ll don’t even know.  She’s a Professor!  She’s friends with my favourite Ph.D. holding Rhodes Scholar.  She writes.  She teaches.  She rocks a fierce bob.  The woman is unstoppable!  I am so totally crushed out on her that it’s all that I can do to not make little hearts around her named using the less-than sign and the number three.

So before this turns totally fan-boy creepy (or anymore fan-boy creepy) I thought I’d let you know about why this is more than me just liking attractive women.

All of these women are smart.  And not just smart like me, smarter than me.  The kind of smart that I aspire to.  Smart like, if there were ever a chance for us to be in school together, I would offer to type up their notes and bang them out a sweet-ass bibliography (do kids still do those these days?) for free, smart.  Smart like, if they had their hands raised I would put mine down and just listen, smart.  I lurve that kind of smart.  It gives me goosebumps.

All of these women are articulate.  Enough cannot be said about how awesome I find a woman who can clearly articulate her points.  Articulation is something that I work at every single day.  I am not great at it.  I look up to these women for their ability to distill complex issues down to their kernel and pop that shit out to me like so much heated corn.  <- Do you see what I mean about not being articulate?

All of these women kick pretty much everyone’s ass in predominately male dominate mediums.  They’re like the Xena of each of field they’re in.

All of these women are unapologetically themselves.  They make their living by being unapologetically themselves.  They change the world by being unapologetically themselves.  I can think of no greater height to aspire to.

(And they’re super hot!)

Who’s your girlcrush?


Oh Captain, my Captain.

28 07 2009

This could only be better if Tina Fey (as Sarah Palin) issued an angry response.

I know. I’m surprised by how good looking I am too.

28 07 2009

Dear Sir,
I noticed you this morning noticing me on the train.  The way your eyes bulged, your lips tightened and pulled back from your teeth and the way your nostrils flared I knew that I’d gotten your attention.  I was overwhelmed when you poked your buddy and then pointed at me.  The way the both of you grimaced was something to see.   The way that you fidgeted in your seat before finally turning your head this way and that to avoid looking directly at me caused me to come away with only one impression.

You had never in your life seen a woman look this awesome in a tie and loafers and you were overcome with envy when faced with my keen fashion sense.

Sir, I am flattered.
The way that you singled me out for attention on a crowded morning rush-hour Q train made my heart race.
Since you were such a fan of my look, my swagger if you will (and I will!), I will let you in on my secret.

I purchased this Jones New York tie at the Atlantic Mall Daffy’s.  A similar tie can be yours for the low price of $30 to $40.
I found this shirt on Ebay.  I got it at the bargain price of $1.99.
I have a lot of success with buying buttons down shirts in the boys’ section.  You, sir, are far too big for boys’ sizes and the thickness and hairiness of your neck suggests to me that you might need a more custom sizing system.
These pants I found at Old Navy – $4.  I certainly do know how to shop the sale rack.  I’m glad that you noticed.

My shoes are Born.  I know that you appreciated them because when you weren’t looking over your left or right shoulder, you were staring at them.
They are super cute!

Sweet-ass shoes

Sweet-ass shoes

And so am I.  I am one of the supercutest lesbians that I have ever seen.  So the next time you see me, taking a fucking picture.  It’ll last longer.

I’ll even loan you one of mine.

Morning rush-hour is just too early for your bigot-ass

Morning rush-hour is just too early for your bigot-ass

Bye bye Miss Moronic Pie.

26 07 2009

I didn’t know that there was a better way to end a Sunday evening than a Tina Fey (and Amy Poehler) break.  Apparently there is.

I’m going to exercise my freedom of speech and call it a Governor Sarah Palin permanent vacation break.


Sunday = Tina Fey Break!

26 07 2009

You know, after the week we’ve had I think that what we could all use is a nice relaxing Sunday evening and the chance to kick back, unwind and have a nice prolonged Tina Fey break (featuring Amy Poehler).  You’re welcome.

Vodpod videos no longer available.


26 07 2009

A very big thank you to Pam Spaulding at Pam’s House Blend for hipping me to this well-timed article in the Washington Post (which I usually avoid).

An even bigger thank you, to you, Bishop Kwabena Rainey Cheeks.  I cannot put into words how important I think the work you do is.

God speed.

Maybe if he had talked to his mama outside none of this would have happened.

25 07 2009

Firstly, I’d like to start by thanking The Black Snob for hipping me to Justine Larbalestier who has, this morning, become my newest girlfriend.  She’s talented, thoughtful and, as you can see, from her bio, has great taste in boots.
I love a woman who is talented, thoughtful and has great shoes.

I love a woman who works hard to think about the space that she occupies in a multi-cultural world.

Maybe she should teach classes on racial-profiling instead of Sgt. James Crowley.

You see how I did that there?  Sergeant James Crowley.  See how I used his title, and didn’t call him a “cop” and respected his status?
I’m really good at that aren’t I?  Maybe I should teach classes.
I think that Officer James Crowley could stand for a few lessons on how respect the status of the Leader of the Free World, our Commander and Chief, President of the United States, Barack Obama.

Lesson 1:
Don’t arrest the President’s friend for being disorderly in his own home.  (In his own home!)

Lesson 2:
Apologize.  Even if you thought you were right in the heat of the moment: when you entered an old man’s home without his consent, confirmed his identity, got embarrassed because the old man proceeded to carve you out a larger asshole and you decided to show him who was boss (in his own home) and arrested him – it has now become more than apparent that the thing to do is apologize.
If it doesn’t appeal to you to “be the bigger man” [which, le sigh is the rationale that assholes – oh, I’m sorry, my manners, Sergeant Assholes – always use to make themselves feel better when they are forced to own up to their assholitry.] or think about repairing the image of your police squad and your fellow officers.  Most importantly, use your “training” to think about historical context (especially when arresting an old black man in his own home] and at least apologize for how things may seem.

Don’t wave your dick at the world by refusing to apologize.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Lesson 3:
When the President of the United States of America, Commander and Chief of the Armed Forces of the United States of the America, Leader of the Free World, Barack Obama, calls you out on your stupid Sergeant, don’t demand an apology of him.

I mean, that’s just poor manners.  And while his mother may have raised him to be a dick-waving, historical context ignoring, gym teacher neck having, old man in his own house arresting masshole she probably didn’t raise him to be rude.

NOTE: As I was writing this post, The Black Snob just clued me in the to fact that apparently everything is now going to be hashed out over some beers.  Maybe they’ll go some place where Ebony and Ivory is a selection for karaoke.

Frankly, if I were Professor Gates, I’d be pretty skeptical that this isn’t just as excuse for the overzealous officer to arrest me for a DUI.