I know. I’m surprised by how good looking I am too.

28 07 2009

Dear Sir,
I noticed you this morning noticing me on the train.  The way your eyes bulged, your lips tightened and pulled back from your teeth and the way your nostrils flared I knew that I’d gotten your attention.  I was overwhelmed when you poked your buddy and then pointed at me.  The way the both of you grimaced was something to see.   The way that you fidgeted in your seat before finally turning your head this way and that to avoid looking directly at me caused me to come away with only one impression.

You had never in your life seen a woman look this awesome in a tie and loafers and you were overcome with envy when faced with my keen fashion sense.

Sir, I am flattered.
The way that you singled me out for attention on a crowded morning rush-hour Q train made my heart race.
Since you were such a fan of my look, my swagger if you will (and I will!), I will let you in on my secret.

I purchased this Jones New York tie at the Atlantic Mall Daffy’s.  A similar tie can be yours for the low price of $30 to $40.
I found this shirt on Ebay.  I got it at the bargain price of $1.99.
I have a lot of success with buying buttons down shirts in the boys’ section.  You, sir, are far too big for boys’ sizes and the thickness and hairiness of your neck suggests to me that you might need a more custom sizing system.
These pants I found at Old Navy – $4.  I certainly do know how to shop the sale rack.  I’m glad that you noticed.

My shoes are Born.  I know that you appreciated them because when you weren’t looking over your left or right shoulder, you were staring at them.
They are super cute!

Sweet-ass shoes

Sweet-ass shoes

And so am I.  I am one of the supercutest lesbians that I have ever seen.  So the next time you see me, taking a fucking picture.  It’ll last longer.

I’ll even loan you one of mine.

Morning rush-hour is just too early for your bigot-ass

Morning rush-hour is just too early for your bigot-ass

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2 responses

1 08 2009
Kelsey Fahy

HOORAY! Also, “keen” is a super word.

22 12 2009
30 People, 30 Blog Posts « Jumbled Words

[…] read this blog for a long time, but it has quickly become one of my favourites. The post “I know. I’m surprised by how good looking I am too.” is absolutely amazing and counters the “ew, dyke” stare by listing exactly where she […]

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