All signs point to crazy.

18 08 2009

… outside a town hall the summer of aught nine.

I can haz magic marker.

I can haz magic marker.

So this has been floating around the Facebook (and most probably the interwebs) and I could not resist floating it around here.

You, sir, in your horizontally striped blue and white, short-sleeved polo are my hero. 

  1. Properly fitted jeans – check.
  2. Aforementioned super cute polo shirt – check.
  3. Arms the perfect length for subversive sign wielding – check.
  4. Grin – check.

Simply awesome, my man.  Simply awesome.

But let’s take a look at the signs that he’s competing with.
 

First at bat is the gentleman who appears to be camera-shy and is holding a sign that says, “‘We the People’ are the Government.” RHS was quick to assert that, uhm, he’s totally wrong about that but I decided to play the Devil’s Advocate. 

Let’s assume that he is correct and “we the people” are, in fact, the government. 
If that’s so, why the big deal about a “government take-over” or “government overhaul” of health-care?  What’s there to be afraid of?  What’s there to picket?

Unless you’re calling us dumb, Camera-Shy… and I just want you to know that my inner nerd will not suffer that gladly.

Then there’s the poor little girl who’s missing her Hannah Montana to stand out in the sun carrying a sign that one of her parents made her use all of her best glitter markers on.  Her sign says, “Oh, I’m sorry we thought READING the bill was UR job.”

Seriously, good try kid.  Because it’s clear that the American school system has failed you what with your pitiable grasp of grammar and that fact that you can’t even spell y-o-u-r.  I also wonder if maybe you think it’s the government’s job to read the bill because you can’t read.  And if that’s true, take comfort, Camera-Shy behind you is the government.

And the lady next to you with the Term Limits Now sign is your mom.  Dude, kid, you are fucked.

Your mom isn’t aware that the town hall discussion she’s picketing is about health care.  But then again most of the picketers don’t. 
Your mom also isn’t aware of the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution.  Or hell, maybe she is and she’s talking about term limits for members of Congress, which okay, point one for the lady whose kid can’t punctuate, spell or read.

And lastly the Red-Shirt.

Fella… I just.  Well, let’s start at the beginning.

Health Care Reform | | Drug Testing Piss in Cup First

Well that just about says it all, doesn’t it?  I think that he means: Health Care Reform = Drug Testing: Piss in Cup First.  Which, on its surface is a somewhat odd stance.  You know, the stance against drug testing – I honestly didn’t know that drug testing was an issue that people protested against.  But to each his OxyContin loving own.  But if we take this in the metaphorical sense… what the fuck kind of metaphor is this?

Oh… I get it, the kind of metaphor that sounds like the true meaning of life when you’re totally high.  Because you’d have to be totally, in Rush Limbaugh’s words “loop[ed] out” to think that the American health-care system as it is, is just fine and not in need of reform.

Either that or peeing in a cup is just too great a challenge for you and if that’s the case Red-Shirt, then you’ve got bigger fish to fry than making a jack-ass out of yourself at town hall.

The signs are clear.  These people are scared, delusional and misinformed but I am glad that they brought their silly signs and not their guns.

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4 responses

18 08 2009
Josh

The dude in the striped shirt is awesome, indeed. He totally deserves a beej.

18 08 2009
Baby Power Dyke

You’re right Josh. I’m just not man enough to do it! 😉

18 08 2009
CKHB

Striped polo man is my new hero.

And, red shirt’s sign reminds me of a conversation some friends of mine had in college:

Concerned friend: Hey, how did your drug test go?
ROTC guy who did pot the night before the army tested him for drugs: I don’t know… and I figured it wouldn’t be smart to ask.

18 08 2009
Baby Power Dyke

@ CKHB

I feel like putting out a Missed Connection on Craig’s List.

“I saw you online. A vision in blue and white striped polo. Your sign, sir, magnificent. Mock on, brother. Mock on.”

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