Don’t go for second best…

20 08 2009

I thought that I would take a break from all of the I want to stay yoked to the HealthCareIndustrialComplex Beast with two backs craziness and talk about something of great import to me.

Madonna.

What’s going on with Madonna, ya’ll?  She’s in trouble deep.

Who knew that this wholesome Italian girl from around the way…

Wouldnt this Madonna and Rocky have made an 80s Italian power ballad of an awesome couple?

Wouldn't this Madonna and Rocky have made an 80's Italian power ballad of an awesome couple?

Note that this shirt says, Healthy.

Note that this shirt says, "Healthy."

…would become Norma Desmond?

Its the pictures that got smaller.

It's the pictures that got smaller.

I wonder if there are knobs on the doors of Madonnas mansion.

I wonder if there are knobs on the doors of Madonna's mansion.

Did this Madonna know?

Or this one?

Seriously, you guys, what happened to the woman that turned Warren Beatty into a big ‘ol  grandfatherly prude during her Truth or Dare days?

Remember when Madonna’s whole thing was “Fuck you!  I’m sexy.”?  Remember when she was all like, no, for serious, I’m keeping the cones (and my baby)?  Remember when you couldn’t tell her anything and she didn’t want to hear it anyway?  She was our precious little megalomaniac.

That Madonna is gone ya’ll.

She hooked up with Guy Ritchie, started writing children’s books and collaborating with The Ew (aka Justin Timbersnake lake.  Justin Timberlake) and now she is but a shell of the woman who single-handedly brought back the lace industry in the eighties and early nineties.
The Madonna I loved bullied her way into the role of Eva Peron and then lived her life for a little while.  It was heady, over the top and balls out glorious.  And Madonna’s balls were always the biggest in the room.

Gone is her, “You know you want to.”  It’s been replaced by, “Do you think you might want to?  Maybe?  Just a little?”
She’s long since said, Pip-pip cheerio to her “Fuck you! I’m sexy” of yore and has filled its stead with “Fuck you.  That’s sexy, right?”

In this time of uncertainty we need our touchstones, our beacons in the storm of stupidity and racism and malice.  We need our testimony to “No, Fuck You.  This is my country.  I have a right to live.  And a right to be happy.  And right to thrive.  And I won’t let your fear stand in the way of the future.”

We need our Madonna back.

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