Cold-blooded!

30 09 2009

What did the Democratic Congressman say to the Republican obfuscation and obstruction about health care reform?

Slap!

My bad…  I totally thought that I was watching the Chappelle Show for a minute.
I mean, it is easy to confuse the brass pairs on this fellow…


… with the brass pairs on this fellow.¹


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¹I agree that “holocaust” was not the right word and that surely he could have used something else to give his rhetoric some sting, but I do appreciate that there are still some Democrats willing to scrap (Rep. Weiner, Sen. Schumer and Nancy Pelosi can’t do this on their own [I’m looking at you Max]).  I appreciate that he conceded to his poor word choice on Dr. Maddow’s show this evening.  Hopefully he’ll be a bit more thoughtful with his scrappiness in the future.

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Do you see what I see?

29 09 2009

Dear Mike Huckabee,
Thank you so much for recommending that part of my fair City be jack-hammed off to float out into oblivion.  Your desire to annex part of the Union really speaks to your patriotism.  Your eloquent display of tact proves to me just how important diplomacy is.

Also, it’s nice to know that you think that New York City has recovered enough after 9/11 for you to suggest digging a big crater in it.  I know that I’m still probably dealing with some PTSD, but it’s good that you’re totally able to move on.  It makes fills me with indescribable emotion to know that when I see this…

Ground Zero 2009

Ground Zero 2009

…you see this.

Ground Zero Unicorn, 2009

Ground Zero Unicorn, 2009

You must be taking classy lessons from the Phelps klan and I’ve got to say, with citizens like you, America sure doesn’t need to worry about enemies.





Interwebs lift us up where we belong…

28 09 2009

Last week was a hard week.
I was totally stressed out at work.
I was audited by the IRS and had the first of my installment payments due and had to figure out what I wouldn’t be paying in order to give the government its due  (fingers crossed this gets me the Public Option I want).
I’ve been a bit worried about something coming up in my offline life that’s been keeping me distracted and I found a line on my face.  The worst part is that the line on my face is probably caused by the frequent and painful multiple day-long headaches that I have (which are probably migraines).
Also, I found out the the Phelps clan would be in my fair borough to picket outside of synagogues on Yom Kippur because they’re classy-McClassersons who are still protected by Free Speech. And though I am not Jewish and I didn’t spend the day fasting (I did spent the day tidying and meditating on things that I might need to atone for [like calling my sister “stupid” a lot when I was younger]) this kind of… just nastiness by the Westboro klan really floored me.

There were some bright spots.

RHS booked an Off-Broadway gig (which pays) and is now finally able to turn Equity.  This makes us a two Equity-card household.
Oprah Winfrey kicked off her 24th Season with interviews with Whitney Houston, and in a double whammy Jay-Z and, the light of my life, Barbra Streisand.

But the brightest spots were found on the interwebs.
I was browsing my favourite blogs and discovered Wordle.net (beautiful world cloud maker) at CKHB’s blog.  Here’s the wordle from last week’s entries.

Every silver lining has a word cloud.

Every silver lining has a word cloud.

I found out where the limited edition Barbra Streisand Barbie doll can be purchased.  (Wink, wink.  Hint, hint.)  And I found videos of the Vanguard performance (that I, sadly, did not win tickets to).

Hello, dolly.

Hello, dolly.

Some smartasses after my own heart found a way to counter the non-housebroken-ness of the Phelps clan.

Amen, dude.

Amen, dude.

And finally… Oprah gets surprised.

Thank you interwebs.





Will Ferrell has something important to tell you.

22 09 2009

Vodpod videos no longer available.

One question: Where is my girlfriend, Tina Fey?





Just the Facts

22 09 2009

I’ve had a couple of interesting responses to The Facts of Lifestyle.

What is interesting about them is that it seems that these few responders felt the need overlook the point that I was trying to make in order to defend the Duggars and to tell me to lay off of them.

Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

If you’re a fan of the Duggars don’t front.  If you don’t like when you think that people are talking smack about the Duggars, come clean.  That’s your thing.
You’re not interested in furthering the discussion; you’re interested in defending the Duggars.  And pretending otherwise, like say for example, that you’re worried that I might be lashing out at them and that’s just no good for me… that’s only going to burn my grits.  Just say you’re a fan, that you love the show, think the kids are adorable and that you can’t wait for the next Duggar.  Be honest.   I wouldn’t say boo to you.

Don’t chastise me on my own blog because you can’t (won’t) grasp the larger point that I was making.
Don’t wag your finger at me and tell me not to be judgmental.

I’ll bite that finger right on off.





But what’s in a name?

21 09 2009

It’s just High Times over at the Family Research Council Action’s 2009 Values Voter Summit.  Especially when Roy Blunt is at the podium.

How about those values?

Yeah, I think that I’ll puffpuffpass on them too.





The Facts of Lifestyle

20 09 2009

Yesterday on the way back from a wedding (lovely affair) to which one of the grooms’ parents declined to attend – lifestyles, lifestyles – RHS and I had the lovely pleasure of sharing our commute with the neighborhood’s homophobe.¹

He spent much of the 45 minute ride spewing graphic invectives against me and my lady and what we do in the privacy of our own home, on more than one occasion whispering at me to look at him so that I could see what a real man looked like.  And this, this is the place to which many of the negative responders to my lifestyle stoop.  And I just have to say to all of those gentleman homophobes:

Sirs, you’re not doing your argument any favors by being bloated, drunken, poorly groomed, ill-mannered, unwashed, uninformed and inarticulate.  You are not what a real man looks like.  The fact that you think so will not only not help you in “converting” lesbians, but it will also prevent you from getting a woman who isn’t a lesbian.  You’re alone right now, drunk, ashy and on the train trying to get me to beat your over the head with my navy-blue Italian leather heels.  “Real men” aren’t doing that.  Mine (what with the successful relationship and the job-holding, 401K having, renewed lease obtaining and debt-management) is not the lifestyle² you need to be all that’s not natural about.

Because honestly, the lifestyle that the Duggars are leading gives me great pause.

Do you know about the Duggars and their show 18 Kids and Counting?

The Duggars are a family in which the father and the mother have made the choice that what God really wants for them is to turn the mother into a baby-machine and to pimp those babies out on the television machine.  Since 1988 the Incubator and the Sperminator have produced 18 children (but wait, there’s more!).  That’s right, 18 children in 21 years.
The oldest boy just got married off so that he could finally have sex and promptly knocked up his very own baby-machine wife.  Like father like son.

He put her in a pumpkin shell and there he kept her very well.

He put her in a pumpkin shell and there he kept her very well.

The Duggars ascribe to the there’s nothing better or a woman than for her to be pregnant and in the kitchen because contraception is an affront to God’s will (and is just mighty inconvenient) and we’ll prostitute our offspring on TV because while “Children are the heritage of the Lord” those TLC payments and those book deal and speaking tour ducats are all for us kind of lifestyle.

And yet, they can vacation in the Caribbean Isles without being worried about being killed for sport and enjoy a subway ride without lewd and violent insults being hurled their way because somehow their whorish and parasitic lifestyle is better than mine.

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

There’s a time you got to go and show
You’re growin’ now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

When the world never seems
to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you’re finding out
the Facts of Life are all about you, you.

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¹I really do mean the neighborhood homophobe.  RHS and I currently live in a predominately West Indian neighborhood.  Many of our neighbors are first or second-generation West Indian and many of them are from islands that have very lax laws about the treatment of people who are gay.  For example, our neighbors are from Trinidad where it is illegal to be gay.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_Trinidad_and_Tobago  I do not want to know what they think of my lifestyle.  But having been on a more than one B41 bus with Belligerent McHomophobe (and now, the Brooklyn-bound Q from 57th Street) I know exactly how he feels.

²Seriously, this is the kind of lifestyle that gets your goat, homophobes?  You’re hating because I work at an awesome non-profit, know what kind of pants properly drape my shape and have a 401K?   Is that really it?  Because, it can’t be because I’m gay.  I didn’t choose that.  I did choose to work to pay off my debt and give to charity and vote.  Being gay is not a lifestyle.   However being filled with hate and stupidity is.