The Lone Gunmen would be so proud.

2 09 2009

My grandmother believes that the Wheel of Fortune is fixed against the black man by a vast conspiracy orchestrated by Vanna White.  (“Her last name is White, afterall, Undra.”)
She told me this one day when I was twelve right after she told me that she didn’t put much stock in the “science” of evolution because if scientists were so smart they should have been able to see through the hoax of the moon landing. After all the flag was waving and The Star Treks was a TV show and the quality wasn’t nearly as grainy as the “quote moon-landing.”

I was right in the middle of suggesting that perhaps the flag was waving because space is a vacuum and the waving was really just the flag being restrained from being sucked out into the ether by the pole.  That explanation made sense to a twelve year old.  It did not make sense to my grandmother who said that the only vacuum that she was concerned with was the Hoover that I wasn’t pushing across her living room floor.

My Uncle once told me that he didn’t play pool because it’s a racist game that serves as a metaphor for how the white man (cue ball) eliminates all of the other cultures (solids and stripes) before finally going after the black ball and dominating the world.

I watched the X-Files.  All nine years.
I am currently obsessed with Fringe.  (You should hit me up on the email or the comments if you want to know my theory on what’s going on in the series.)
I am not averse to conspiracy.

But the conspiracy theories that have been jumping off around HCR have left me speechless.  They were… honestly?  Hysterical.  They were X-Files season 8 and 9 laughable.  They were Mulder is the Smoking Man’s son laughable.    I mean, come on now.
So though they were seriously batshit, I think for the most part I was able to keep them at arm’s length.  I really don’t like to get that close to crazy.

But this new mess about Obama’s speech to the school-goers of America being a kind of indoctrination and brainwashing comparable to Communist China is just beyond The Whoa!  Seriously, what in the Sam Goody!?!

First of all what is wrong with indoctrinating our children with a sense of the importance of education?  Should children not think that their education is important?
Is this just like the problem with giving everyone health-care?  You know, the theory that if everyone has an opportunity and an investment in succeeding, all of America will collapse?

I don’t think that Damon Weaver would have gotten his interview with the President (or Oprah) if he hadn’t been imbued, at an early age, with the idea that with his education he could do amazing things.  Hell, I don’t think that Barack Obama would be POTUS if he hadn’t been similarly instructed.

Okay I’ve got no secondly.

I’m still totally confused about how Glenn Beck and Michelle Malkin are anti-education.
Maybe they’d both rather see this

Thats the sound of the men working on the chain gang.

That's the sound of the men working on the chain gang.

than this

Moorehouse.  More graduates.

Moorehouse. More graduates.

Shame on them.




4 responses

2 09 2009
Valuable Internet Information » The Lone Gunmen would be so proud.

[…] Originally posted here: The Lone Gunmen would be so proud. […]

2 09 2009
Emily Paige Ballou

I wanna hear your theory about what’s going on on Fringe!

You know what, though, I’ve been rewatching some of the major mythology episodes from Seasons 8 & 9 of the X-Files, and some of them are actually not as bad as they seemed the first time around. It was actually pretty emotionally moving/disturbing how the series got really, really dark, and you could really see how far the characters had come from where they started.

Some of the filler episodes, though…crazy. Bad crazy.

And seriously, some of the right-wing theories around Obama…WORSE than season 8 and 9 X-Files filler episodes bad crazy.

Like have they not noticed that we’ve HAD government sponsored health care for seniors and the disabled for about 50 years, and yet nobody’s come up with death panels except for the private insurers?

Or that people who don’t work ALREADY have free health insurance and it’s called Medicaid? That it’s therefore definitionally people who DO work, having the wherewithal to bring in more than $13,000/year or so, who can’t get health insurance?

And what do they think they’d say if a Republican president wanted to speak to the nation’s schoolchildren? “Glorious Leader?” Really? (Yes, I heard that one today.)

(Really, you thought Mulder being the Smoking Man’s son was laughable? I thought it was sort of inevitable, and that Chris Carter was just in denial about it from the start. I mean, he just kept writing himself into a corner, all the while denying that was going there, but repeatedly writing himself out of any plausible deniability. And remember “Mulder and Scully are never going to be romantically involved?” Carter was just in denial about who his characters were.)

3 09 2009
Baby Power Dyke

Here’s what I think is happening on Fringe.

I will refer to the plain of existence that Astrid and the rest live on as “Here” and the other plain where Olivia visited the Twin Towers in the season finale as “There”.

Here Walter stole There Peter from There Walter. Making him the Here Peter we know and love. This explains why Peter doesn’t have all of the same memories of their time together as Here Walter does. Here Walter is remembering the things he used to do with Dead Peter.
There Walter is still crazy as a loon and is terribly pissed about the theft of his son and probably started popping up in Here Walter’s life doign terrible things to make him apear to be crazy and also to drive him crazy.
To that end, There Walter is the one behind all of the experiments that are going on and is trying to frame Here Walter so that he can steal Peter back.

About nutbags…
These people who are all concerned about children being indoctrinated in self-esteem/assurance and responsibilty (as if those are bad things) and the same people who trumpted from the mountaintops about what a savior No Child Left Behind was going to be.

I think that Mulder being the Smoking Man’s son was the worst thing to happen to C.G.B. Spender. He was a better villian when his alliances were dubious. And frankly, Mulder was a better protagonist before things disintegrated into some Oedipal meanderings.

Scully remains a beacon of joy. Beacon of joy!

3 09 2009
Emily Paige Ballou

I dunno about There Walter popping into Here world–I’m still tending to think it was Robert Jones, or someone as yet undiscovered, orchestrating the experiments.

But I had assumed at the end of the finale that Here Walter did indeed take Peter from There, and that’s why Peter’s missing so many memories. I think partly what drove Walter insane, though, wasn’t There Walter messing with him, but the grief over Peter growing to hate him, given that Walter actually loved him so much that he figured out how to universe-jump just to get him back.

CGB just had to be Mulder’s father after a certain point, though–he’d had so many opportunities to just kill him and be done with it, but wouldn’t. And it was plausible for a while that he wouldn’t because his motivations/loyalties were divided, but even HE eventually ran out of rational, external reasons not to kill Mulder. By about Season 5, he just sounded like an idiot attempting to justify it to the Syndicate. Personal reasons were all that was left.

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