TV does it.

6 12 2009

I have always been a self-soother.  I hum to myself.  I stroke my collarbone and I rock.  Sometimes I do all three things at once.

And lately, with all of the crazy we’ve been experiencing here, I’ve been watching a lot of TV (and eating a lot of macaroni and cheese) to soothe myself.

One of my favourite TV related soothing mechanisms is watching Christmas commercials and making snide comments about them.
To date, this Audit commercial is my favourite.

Do you see what I see?

Ringing through this ad customer?
The smug the smug, in the yuletide night:
When you’ve a car you don’t need those low class lights.
Why be a neighbor when you can shine your high-beams bright?

On Friday night I spent a perplexingly relaxing 22 minutes watching Iman hawk her wares on HSN during the IMAN Global Chic ‘Time To Shine’ power hour(s).  I watched with rapt attention as Iman and Connie, the HSN host, goaded us into buying Iman’s “Patent Logo Bag with Chain Strap” by telling us that it was Iman’s last time on HSN until March (and that we could just put it on our credit card to bring it home for under $30 using Flex-Pay).

Iman was impatient, and beautiful, and “needed to explain” things to us, and COULD NOT BELIEVE (Can you believe it!) that everything she was selling was so cheap.  She was wearing leggings and a sparkle top.  She was selling these terrible bags through the sheer force of her glamour and her “Now, how chic is that?”  And really, who’s going to argue with Iman?
I watched as she sold nearly a thousand bags in 20 minutes.  It was glorious.

It was the best 22 commercial free minutes of television that I’d seen in the past 3 weeks – just the tidings of comfort and joy that I’ve been needing.

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One response

7 12 2009
CKHB

I would never dream of arguing with Iman.

(Thanks for the poem! Jabberwocky has historically been one of my favorites, and yet I’d completely forgotten about it when I made my list! It was, in short, EXACTLY what I wanted for my birthday.)

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