What’s a pirate’s favourite kind of political action? Astrot-arf!

7 08 2009

I was born in Panama City and raised in Tampa Bay, Florida (Hillsborough County in the house!) until we moved to Connecticut when I was 11.
I do not have many fond memories that are Tampa-specific; but of the few my favourite is of the Gasparilla Festival.

Every late January or early February Ye Mystic Krewe of the Gasparilla would invade the town and wreak havoc.  There were chocolates shaped like coins in the street and snappers (that used to scare my sister terribly – much to the delight of my brother) and grown men in mascara and tights.  It was a magical time.

Snap crackle and pop yourself into a possible lawsuit

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Real men wear tights.

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Thats Mister Manscara to you.

That's Mister Manscara to you.

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Pretty, pretty pirate

Pretty, pretty pirate

My father would take us every year and every year between the Krewe’s cannons and pillaging he would say, “I can’t wait until next year.”  Indeed, my brother, sister and I wished that every day was Gasparilla Day.  So I guess that I kind of understand what these residents of Ybor City are going through…

They’re just a riotous mob who simply can’t wait for next February. They want to rape and pillage now and they’ve decided to use decency and (as the cool kids say) small dee democracy as the targets of their doubloon-hoarding zeal.  They are just itching to throw their pocketfuls of incendiaries that Glenn Beck bought them at the feet of the President they don’t like.  And they want their very own Captain Hook to be proud of them.

If they keep this up they’ll end up just like all of the other pirate captains (including Jose Gaspar)… they’ll go down with the ship.  Before they take health-care reform and America down with them, I think that we should mutiny.

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Doubleyou tee eff.

4 10 2008

Sometimes the change we need is a roll of quarters upside some ignorant asshole’s head.**

This major What the Fuck Break has been brought to my attention by the good people over at Pam’s House Blend.

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**Gentle reader, BPD does not advocate violence as an answer to assholitry and bigots.

Sometimes though, I need to voice these thoughts so that I can go on with my day without tearing my hair out. Everyone has to deal with this shit their own way. This is mine and I stand by it.